The Roc and I skipped the chaos of the elementary school open house at the end of August, and opted instead to schedule a private time for him to see his new fourth grade classroom and to meet the new autism teacher. This private meeting is something we’ve done since he started school, and I am always relieved that everyone is willing to accommodate him in this way. The morning of our meeting, while he played in my big bathtub, I sat on the floor and asked him questions about school, what he liked and disliked and if there was anything he wanted the new teachers to know before school started. I also tried to get him to tell me what things the teachers could do to help him if he was having a hard time, but he couldn’t tell me. I took notes and used them to type up a letter. I read it to him and he approved (mostly to get me to stop talking about school I suspect.)
Here are the Roc’s words, (except the first two sentences which I added) his first foray into self advocacy:
My name is the Roc and I am in your class this year. I want you to know a little about me. I have autism and sometimes it is hard for me to stay calm. I feel nervous about school when I don’t know to expect. I don’t know the kids in my class. I am also nervous about what will happen during the day (my schedule) and I like to know what comes next. I am worried about what to do at recess and who will play with me.
I hope I have a teacher helper again this year. I need help and they help me in the classroom. Then I don’t have to wait for the teacher who has to help everyone else.
I am good at recess and running. I also like gym. Daily 5 isn’t my favorite. Reading and math are hard for me and I always have to do work. Work is hard and I get frustrated.
Yesterday I followed that letter up with an email to the people who work with the Roc everyday at school:
With the new school year starting tomorrow I thought I would send you all a little note about how the Roc is doing since school let out in May and what we have been working on this summer. I thought this would be good for those of you who have never worked with the Roc before. 🙂
We believe that the Roc’s success is a team effort and we are always available to answer any questions and we hope to communicate with you all as the year goes on. We take our responsibility as part of this team very seriously and will gladly take any suggestions you have in regards to helping the Roc grow academically, socially and emotionally.
The Roc has had a good summer and went to a few weeks of ESY before we headed to SC to visit family for the month of July, he also participated in a day camp through True Friends as well as a 4 day social skills camp at the end of August.
As evidenced in the letter he gave to Mrs. fourth grade and Ms. autism teacher when we had our private “open house,” the Roc knows that he is autistic and he knows that he has a harder time staying calm than other kids. He has expressed this summer that he doesn’t like that he is different and he wishes his brain worked like everyone else. We are working hard to build his self esteem and show him that he is so much more than autism. We want him to like himself and be happy with who he is.
Last night the Roc freaked out a bit at bedtime (understatement) and even though he said he was mad because I let him play the iPad too long (I did) and I’m not tough enough to make him stop (Yesterday I wasn’t. Hello end of summer, hanging on by my fingernails, whatever works) I also knew it was because school is starting back up. I was proved right when he started to scream, “I hate my life! I don’t want to go to stupid school! It’s boring!” when I told him to get his pjs on and teeth brushed because he had to get some sleep before school. Bedtime turned into an hour long cool down session with the white board. I wrote what was making him angry: Plants vs. Zombies 2, the dog staring at him, and his clothes not going where he wanted them to when he tried to fling them from the second floor down into the family room. Then I wrote some solutions/options to what was making him angry: Stop playing the game forever, or for a few days, take a break, take a deep breath, call up the inventors of Plants vs. Zombies 2 and tell them they are greedy, stupid heads who made the game way too hard. I wrote more silly stuff for the dog staring and clothes flinging issues and was delighted when he burst out laughing. We eventually wrote out his morning schedule and I drew a map at the bottom of how to get to his classroom. He didn’t want to talk about school, only asking if he would still ride the van instead of the bus.
It wasn’t as hard to get him up and out the door as I thought it would be this morning. He did what he usually does on school days and dragged his feet through the morning routine causing him to run out of time to read (I read to him, either books from the library or Harry Potter) before the BUS came. Oh my, it was a bus and not the van! It’s been a van for three years! The only thing he asked me the night before school started was if the van was going to pick him up and I hurriedly said, “Yup, of course! You don’t ride the big bus, you ride the van.” The look he gave me when a big bus stopped at the end of our driveway was of pure and utter shock. He was speechless. Lucky for him the bus driver seems super, duper nice and he asked me a bunch of questions while the bus aide (an aide on the bus! Yay!) showed him to his seat.
I got an email during the day from Mrs. fourth grade saying that he was doing great in her room and was “delightful,” as well as thanking me for the earlier email with all the info on the Roc, that it helped her immensely. I also got an email from Ms. autism teacher this evening stating that the Roc had a wonderful day, was a lot of fun, was nice to a younger student in her room, and only had one hiccup which involved him not being able to take another student’s perspective when they were upset. I was glad to get these emails as the Roc would only tell me that he had fun at recess and then all he wanted to talk about for the rest of the evening was Halloween, plants vs. zombies, and what we could bake next (we bake together every week.)
We we made it! First day of fourth grade over and done!
Obligatory first day of school pic: