Monday was a busy, busy day. The Roc started a four day basketball skills camp. I had emailed the coach to ask about how the camp was run and if he thought he would have enough help in case the Roc was totally lost. He emailed me back right away and told me to sign him up, that he had enough people, and that the Roc would have a good time. Of course the Roc was nervous and told me so as we left early Monday morning. I reminded him to pay attention and listen to the coaches when they talked so he didn’t miss directions, and I was pleased to see him following along when the session started. There were a few times I could see him staring off into space while the coach was giving directions to all forty kids, and then he looked like a deer in headlights when they all got up and starting running. Much to the Roc’s relief, they didn’t play an actual game, it was all dribbling, passing, and shooting. They did play dribble tag, and unlike winter basketball, the Roc understood that when the ball was knocked out of his hand, he had to go sit down.
(Roc is in the back, blue shirt)
After basketball the Roc completed a few worksheets and then it was time to go to swimming and later that afternoon he had his friendship group. Monday was probably the Roc’s most scheduled day of the entire summer!
Tuesday was the second day of basketball skills camp. As we walked up the sidewalk into the school the Roc said, “I’m not nervous today! I know what’s going to happen.” Awesome dude. We didn’t have an awesome morning after basketball though, which prompted me to write,
“The screaming! The screaming! Can autism take a vacation please?” as my facebook status. A few hours later I updated my status with,
“Roc just completed his first Jillian Michaels video. He complained a little, “my belly button is hurting!” and “bones are sore!” but when I told him to take a break he said, “I have to do what she says!” Maybe she can come over next time he’s screaming his head off and tell him to use his inside voice.”
That’s just the kind of day Tuesday was.
It was loud.
I did get a little break when my mom came over after dinner to watch the Roc while GC and I went out shopping to pick up a few camping items we need for our upcoming trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area (BWCA.) We came home to hear her reading the Roc bedtime stories. He loves his grandma and he can always get her to read a big stack of books to him.
After basketball on Wednesday morning the Roc was willing to work for his stickers. He understood that he hadn’t earned any the day before and he was motivated to fill up his chart. My mom came to see the Roc’s swimming lesson and then we went out to lunch afterwards. The Roc and I played pretend party and then baked some really tasty cookies, of which I totally meant to take a picture of….but they were gone within a few days.
Thursday was the last day of basketball skills camp and the last day of the Roc’s 2 week swim camp. The Roc learned that he could move up another level in swimming, so even though I had only planned on one swim camp, I signed him up for another 2-week camp in July. He loves it and I love that he has an activity he loves. When we got home from swim camp my mom came over and after picking up my sister and her kids, we all went strawberry picking.
GC left for a fun/work trip to the East Coast on Friday morning, but not before going down to the park with the Roc to play basketball. He relayed to me later that the Roc told him he didn’t want him to go to Delaware, that he would miss him. He said it felt good that the Roc would miss him. He remembered how it felt when the Roc only wanted me and no one else. After dropping GC off at the airport the Roc and I had the whole weekend stretching out before us. He wanted to watch a movie we we got home, so I took the opportunity to make some freezer jam with the strawberries we had picked on Thursday.
Then the Roc got busy building a “Halloween carnival” for us to play with and Guinness spent some time contemplating life.
He also wondered what the heck the Roc was doing upstairs.
“Have you gone crazy yet?” my mom asked me on Saturday morning. “Pretty soon,” I replied. “Well come over if you want to get out of the house,” she told me. We went over a couple hours later and my Mom and I took the Roc back to the dam.
We had dinner at my parents and hung out on their porch well past the Roc’s usual bedtime.
The Roc slept and slept on Sunday morning. I wanted to wake him, but with GC gone and me being on full-time duty, it was nice to have some quiet time in the house. We hung around the house that morning. The dog rested,
and I wrote this while the Roc made a Christmas carnival for us to play with. The afternoon slowly went downhill and I ran out of steam. Out of steam to play, to build bridges, to cook, to clean, to do bedtime, to read stories, to fight about brushing teeth and being nice to the dog, to deal with the Roc’s easy frustrations and super loud voice. Oh the screaming! Out of steam to do it all alone. June has been a busy month for GC, having a friend at our house for 10 days and now he is gone on a fun/work trip. I’ve been on full time Roc duty and it’s taking it’s toll on my mental state. I lost my patience and lost my cool. He screamed and I screamed. We managed to have a calm bedtime routine and then I stayed up too late, desperate to be alone, but feeling lonely at the same time, thinking over the ways I could have done the day differently. Knowing at the same time that I cannot be “on” for this long without cracking.
I closed my eyes, let the day go, and woke up with a smiling Roc next to my bed.
A new week is starting, GC will be back in town this week, and I will get a “break” from being responsible for everyone and everything.
Onto week 3!