How to Get the Perfect School Photo

First, gloss over the small notice in the weekly flyer about the upcoming picture day.  Ignore the sticker that says “picture day this Wednesday!”  in the student planner.  Then, file the picture form under a pile of papers on the floor next to the dog crate in your bedroom.

Essentially, completely forget about picture day.

On the big day dress your kid in a gray shirt—to perfectly blend in with the gray background.  Pick a shirt that has big letters and maybe a guitar on it, bonus if it’s got some small stains too.  Since he has bed head anyway, go ahead and spike up his hair in a messy mo-hawk.  You don’t know anything’s special is happening that day anyway, who cares?

Don’t send in the picture form or money, you forgot about that form as soon as it slipped under that stack of autism stuff in your room.

As soon as your kid gets home from school, decide that it’s the perfect moment to organize that growing stack of papers on the floor in your bedroom.  Gasp and say “Oh SHIT!” when you find the picture form wedged between information about state disability benefits and homework that was due last week.  Take a peak at your kid to find that his mo-hawk is now in complete disarray.  Hope that the pictures were taken in the morning when at least his hair resembled a mo-hawk and he didn’t have food on his face.

Rattle off a quick email to the teacher, think to yourself, she’s going to think I’m super unorganized and a ditz to boot.  Admit to yourself that you are kinda ditzy sometimes, this isn’t the first time you’ve forgotten stuff like this.

Feel a bit of relief when the teacher emails right back and says that you can still send in the form, the photographer is coming back on Friday to pick up late orders, and btw, she liked his hair.

Ask your kid if he had his picture taken today and if he smiled for the camera…wonder what the heck this picture will look like as he stares blankly back at you and then asks for graham crackers.

Keep the picture when it comes home a few weeks later, because if you didn’t remember the first time, you know you’ll forget retake day, and it’s the best school picture he’s ever taken anyway!

And a pretty funny story.

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9 thoughts on “How to Get the Perfect School Photo

  1. I. LOVE. HIM.

    I love you, too!!!! Holy crap – stop spying on me in my home (how did you know where I put my photo-day forms???) – SO been there.

    And really??? Alysia has it right: BEST. PHOTO. EVER.

    I could smoosh him up and eat him.

    Love you, Mama. SO MUCH.

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