Busy Bee

I’ve been busy the last two weeks.  Annual developmental pediatrician appointment, get fit day at the Roc’s school, phone calls, and lots of driving up to PA for three straight days of evaluations.  No time to reflect through writing.  There is no shortage of stories to tell, my heart has both ached and soared, many times within the same day.  Talking to the doctor about the Roc’s progress, watching her work with him, feeling so proud and worried in the same heartbeat.  Attending school events and wondering why I go?  Seeing the gains and the struggles, trying not to compare and failing, watching the children group up with their friends and seeing that the Roc has no one, only me and the teachers.  Watching the Roc work so hard to keep it together when something didn’t go his way, and just feeling for him.  Knowing that he works that hard all.the.time.  Watching a little girl watching him struggle and seeing her whispering to her little friend, and knowing that that has only just begun.  Walking away from the event and feeling mixture of emotion I have no words to explain.  Trying to describe the feeling to both my Mom and GC, how it feels like something has wrapped it self around all my organs and is squeezing me.  It’s not a sharp pain, it’s the pressure, sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating even though I can take a deep breath.  Knowing that I will probably always hold part of myself so tightly because for me…this is the way it is now.  Knowing that I feel only a portion of what it must feel like to be the Roc.

But it has not all been so grueling.  Yesterday, after the three consecutive days of evaluations were completed I surprised the Roc by asking him if he would like to go to Longwood Gardens.  He loves it there and it had been hard for me not to spill the beans earlier in the week, as it’s the best feeling to make him blissfully happy.  On our drive I mentioned that instead of having a picnic like I originally suggested, we would be passing by the Thai food restaurant and we could stop for lunch there.  After changing his mind back and forth between the two he decided to go to the restaurant.  And so we did.  Just the two of us.  He behaved and even smiled for the waitress.

and me.

He kept asking me what the music was and I told him to ask the waitress, and he did, but she didn’t know saying she could speak the language but when they started singing she couldn’t keep up!  After lunch we headed over to the gardens.  And it was bliss.  Perfect weather, only the retired and a few with very small children, wonderful for the Roc.  For me, it’s about the flowers,

but it’s all about the fountains for him.

We found a dragon in a tree house,

and stopped to drink out of every water fountain we saw,

which makes the Roc oh so happy.

After a second visit to a waterfall,

and some more time gazing at the Italian water garden,

we headed into the conservatory where I bored the Roc by taking pictures of orchids

before letting him loose in the childrens garden.

It was the perfect way to wrap up our long three days and his smile says it all.

Now I need to go clean my house, my in-laws are coming this weekend!  If the weather is nice the Roc and I are planning on taking Nonna to see Longwood Gardens, we know she’ll love it as much as we do.


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15 thoughts on “Busy Bee

  1. Roc is becoming the great person he is because of all the effort that you put in as his Mommy. I am the luckiest man in the world to be married to an angel like you.

    gc

  2. What a great smile he has! I hope you have so much much with Nonno and Nonna! I know how much they have been looking forward to spending time with you guys! Hope to talk to you soon! Been busy around here too!

  3. I am sooo enjoying reading your blog! The Roc sounds like such a neat kid. And you are such a good writer! I’m glad we reconnected! -Kristy

  4. I like your writing style; it permeates with love. Your pix are lovely; your boy adorable. The beauty you captured in the orchids literally brought a tear to my eye. Will enjoy looking through your blog some more.

  5. It’s so hard when we see the differences in our kids. And it’s okay, but it’s still hard. I’m so with you.

    Glad you guys had such a lovely time at the gardens! Those orchids are beautiful, and the Roc’s smile says it all! Hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day, my friend.

  6. I’m a bit late to the party…can so relate to the busy-ness! You know, that boy of yours has a smile to light up the world around him, for sure! I’m so glad you guys had a chance to go play at Longwood.

    And that comment from GC? Made me teary.

  7. What gorgeous photos of the gardens. You may have just inspired us to go to the Botanical this week!

    When you feel the “squeeze,” close your eyes and picture the gardens.

    Your boy is so beautiful. You are a great mom.

  8. “something has wrapped it self around all my organs and is squeezing me. It’s not a sharp pain, it’s the pressure, sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating even though I can take a deep breath”- I know this one all too well… Roc is so cute, I LOVE the pictures

  9. Oh yeah, it’s all about the fountains for us, too. We really need to get over there soon – thanks for the reminder.

    Roc is changing!!! That last picture especially – he’s growing up fast.

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