I know, I know, I just got back from Arizona.  But I’m lusting to leave again.  Get on a plane and go somewhere sunny, somewhere warm.  I crave blue skies, sparkling sun, green grass, flowers, and did I mention warmth?  Winter really gets me down.  I don’t know if suffer is the right word, but I am definitely affected by Seasonal Affect Disorder.  I’m SAD.  I also have Raynauds phenomenon (my sister refers to it as the phenomenon.  If you click on the wikipedia link, my fingers and toes turn white just like in the photographs.  It’s painful.)  Not only do I want to travel for fun, I feel like I want to pack up and move.

I’ve felt that way for a long time.  In fact, I may have felt that way since not long after I got here.  Here being the East Coast.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret moving here.  It’s just that it’s not what I want it to be.  It’s just not where I thought I would end up.

See, I always fancied myself to be a West Coast kind of girl.  I spent the first twenty two years of my life in Minnesota.  When applying for college I entertained the notion of Colorado as well as California.  But I stayed in state for the proximity of parents, friends, and in state tuition (paid for by my parents if I stayed in-state or if I went to a nearby reciprocity state.)  After college I moved to Nebraska for a job.  Nebraska lasted a mere 12 months, the length of my lease.  When GC and I met, I moved to New Jersey because, well, that had to be better than Nebraska, right?  In some ways it was.

But ever since we’ve been together we’ve talked about moving.  Sometimes we kick ourselves for not moving when we were DINKS, it would have been much easier then.  We were living in New Jersey and knew we wanted to get out.  More me than him, it’s his home state.  Lots of friends and memories tie him to New Jersey.  Maybe I wasn’t in the right area of the state, or a didn’t meet the right people, but I never felt at home there.  I always looked ahead to the day we would move out.  We saw our chance when GC got a good job offer in a neighboring state.

Not long after moving and buying this house we put it on the market.  We were going to move to North Carolina.  The good job was bought out by another company and he could work at the headquarters in NC, even though his new team was in Dallas (no way I was moving to Dallas!)  It was right at the down turn in the housing market.  Our house didn’t sell and GC got offered another job here with much better pay.  He took it, and we stayed.

A year or so later Autism appeared on our radar.  Immediately I wanted to move back to Minnesota.  Suddenly I felt as though I couldn’t handle this life and I desperately needed to be near my family.  But, again, it wasn’t the right time to sell for many reasons, and as time went by I felt as though I was getting my feet under me again.  I slowly started to feel stronger.  I realized I was handling it.  We were handling it.  Life could still be good.  But this wanderlust bug still gets to me.

We went to Colorado this summer for vacation.  GC lived there before we met.  He told me I would love it.  And I did.  I do.  Giddily we talked about moving again.  I joined a Denver special needs yahoo group, but I have not read positives about the schools and kids like mine.  Poor funding, IEPs not being followed, restraint being used, bullying not being taken seriously, services not available, long, long wait lists.  I looked at the special education scorecards for that state as well as a few others.  Colorado isn’t matching up as well as other states we could move to.  We put Colorado on the back burner.  Even though it has many things to offer, it may not be the best fit for us.  So we decided to wait.

But at times we still feel overwhelmed and talk about moving to be near either sets of grandparents.  Having help would be so nice.  A night out.  Some time together to be us again.  Someone we trust and who loves the Roc to take him for the weekend.  But the my in-laws live in Myrtle Beach, and South Carolina isn’t the best state for special education.  And while Minnesota has my parents, my sister, and a couple girls that know and love me and mine, it. is. frigid.  It’s the COLD, the length of the winter, my SAD and Raynauds, the fact that the Roc is an outdoor kid and has been complaining about the snow and his hatred for his winter jacket, his hat, his glove, etc., that keep us from committing to moving to that albeit beautiful, but frozen tundra of a state.  (You totally can’t deny it Minnesotans, not when you post about the -5 degree wake up temps in your facebook status! Brrr!)  Even if we wanted to move, the housing market is still in a slump around here.

For now we are stuck.

So instead we travel and I can’t seem to get enough.  I look forward to getting away from this state as soon as I get back.  So here I am yet again perusing the travel sites for a place to go.  Then GC mentioned his friend TJ who lives in San Diego, who graciously offered to be our tour guide if we want to come visit, and I went into a tizzy dreaming about the California sun, the West Coast, a beautiful place to be during the winter.  Do they even have winter there?  No?  That sounds like heaven.

Do you know what you just opened yourself up to TJ?

Apparently TJ (a former New Jersey boy) describes his California existence as “being on vacation every day.”  Well, we may come join your “vacation” in April if you were really serious about having us!

Now I just have to convince GC to take a few days of his precious vacation and spend a few bucks to get us there.

I think it’s a reasonable request.

Don’t you?


8 thoughts on “Wanderlust

  1. Well you know I LOVE San Diego – and it is like a vacation every day. It’s just a bit too crowded and expensive to live there. Have fun!

    I actually did have your and moms “phenomenon” a couple of times this winter. It was on one finger – and it hurt!

  2. UGH. Nik and I have Raynaud’s. Well, technically, it’s not yet diagnosed. His is REALLY bad (we see rheumatologist next week). I feel your pain, literally.

    I miss CA terribly, even though I’m a native to our fair state. Fingers crossed for you to be able to travel (so I can live vicariously!) and for the housing markt to pick up again!

  3. Here with you in the East, the West is sounding pretty good right now. Hope you’ve got some nice warm mittens! And that your hubby comes home with tickets tonight.

  4. San Diego, I grew up here so I am pretty spoiled and unnappreciative of it..lol…The weather is fantastic, The cost of living ridiculous, The schools….eh.. we are at a Charter School (which is like a public private school) and that has been fantastic for my oldest. I am waiting to see how it goes with Diego. There are a lot of things to do…and most people are nice :). Services for my little one with Asperger’s?? The private services at our children’s hospital have been pretty good and an Asperger’s diagnosis doesn’t qualify him for public services in California. There is a foundation I mentioned on my blog that pairs parents of children on the spectrum with well seasoned been there done that parents. I am in the process of getting hooked up with them and will fill you in on how it goes! What part of SD does your friend TJ live in?? Please let me know if you all come out here, I would love to help show you around!

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