Patience

This is the stuff that no one really understands.  The day to day.  The grind.  The SCREAMING (from him, though sometimes I’m ashamed to admit, I scream too).  The daily fights about food.  The wheeling and dealing to accomplish just about anything.  The screaming when the bus comes earlier than expected, or it’s raining, or a container is too hard to open.  The screaming.  The immediate frustration.  The bossiness that has emerged.  Where did that come from?  When is okay to order your mother to bring you a napkin because you drooled on yourself?  To demand that your TV show be paused?  To say you will “be nicer now” after screaming and being told to go to time out?  Another newly emerged:  blowing and thus spitting when angry.

That just happened and I did something I never do.  I made him go to his room.  I had to carry him there while he thrashed and screamed.  He is there now.  He is screaming.  He is throwing his books around the room and calling for me.  “Mommy, mommy, mommy!!  Get up here NOW!!!”

Deep breath.

The first week of kindergarten is done.  Whew.  Lots of changes.  A new bus stop, a new bus driver + aide, new route, new school, new classmates, new room, new teachers, new everything…  And even through all these changes good reports from the spec ed teacher in his communication book every day.  He is transitioning well, playing with classmates, being flexible, playing on the playground (weather permitting), and is listening and following directions.

I know he is adjusting.  I know all these changes are very hard for him and it sounds as if he is keeping it together at school only to fall apart at home.  And really I would rather have that.  I would rather he be able to control himself while at school.  I want him to learn, to make friends, to feel good while there.  I know all this but my patience is wearing thin because when he gets home from school he falls apart.

The boy has an angel face and can scream like a banshee.  He is now asking to “come out please?  I’m all done in here” so I’d better go and have one of our chats about being nice, using a nice voice and nice words.  It seems that we’ve had this same chat every afternoon this week and it hasn’t done any good.

Sigh.

Anyone know where I can purchase some more patience?  Mine expired.  Yesterday.

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7 thoughts on “Patience

  1. Patience is a rare commodity, although it can’t be bought, sold or traded. You are born with it, or not, and you have an abundance.
    Yes, I remember the few tantrums during your visit, but what I really remember is that beautiful face and unbelievable smile that was present the majority of the time.
    Hang in there girl.

  2. I can relate to this in many ways.

    I try to take comfort in the fact that if I keep handling things the “right” way and am consistent and whatnot – eventually it will pay off.

    For our kids, this kind of stuff is developmental. They will develop out of it. Eventually. Soon, please.

  3. Kim, I feel by you taking the time to express your emotions through your blog you are an extremely patient person. I know you will get through this and it will make you stronger. Just remember that we all love you and even if I have been able to see you in forever I still feel as close as ever.

    Love and positive thoughts,
    Candi

  4. Ugh. I hear you on this. I feel so worn out from the constant discussion, arguing, comebacks and such coming from my kid. I’ve started rewarding him for those times he does something I ask without commentary! It is wearing for sure.

    I’m definitely voting that this is a result of K. Hopefully it will smooth out, but I did have one therapist tell me once that these kids are so dang smart they just can’t understand why they aren’t in charge. Or at least equal with their parents.

    I’ve come to believe that statement to be true, and cling to it with tenacity when I’m ready to pull my hair out. Hang in there, sister.

  5. Look at it this way Kim. You are married to me – that in itself requires an over abundance of patience 🙂 Anyone who knows me, knows this to be true. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be raising our son. You are an absolute natural at it – don’t lose site of that either. Love you babe.

    gc

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