Gosh, I fee like such a downer these days. I can’t seem to write about anything positive and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. The Roc’s behavior is spiraling and this morning he’s out of control. I feel that I’m on the verge of losing control myself. I stood in the kitchen just now and had the urge to run away. I just don’t know what to do with him. I don’t know how to discipline this child. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? Why is this so hard? There is no manual for this. I have no guidance or direction from the Roc’s doctors. I stood by the phone, but who can I call? No one can fix this. I don’t want pity. I don’t want to burden the few people I know, they have lives of their own and I think hearing about mine is getting old.
I need the sun to come out.