I woke up this morning listening to the Roc talking through the baby monitor. He still doesn’t come out of his room on his own in the morning. Our master bedroom is on the first floor and his room is on the second so I still use a baby monitor to know when he is awake and sometimes at night just so I know he is still breathing. Yup, I am that kind of Mom. I readily admit to the need to check him every night just before I go to bed. But it’s more than just knowing that he is still alive, it’s my chance to see him quiet and peaceful, to kiss him without bothering him, and sometimes to gaze upon him with an apology for not being the best Mommy I could have on that particular day but with the promise that I will do better tomorrow.
So, when I went into his room this morning I told him that today is Thursday and it’s also Thanksgiving – to which he immediately replied “You get to go to school today!!” (pesky pronoun reversal). Nope. Sorry buddy. Next week we will get back to our regular routine (and we’ll all feel much better, except GC who will have to go back to work). The Roc doesn’t understand gratitude yet, but I do and on this Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for:
I am thankful for our family. Even though we are far away from everyone again this year we are thinking of them and we know they are thinking of us.
I am thankful for our friends. Not everyone understands what we are going through but they let me know they care.
I am thankful that my sister (hi sis!) prodded me to start this blog and through it I’ve come across other Mommies who feel just like I do. It really helps with the “I’m all alone in this” feeling that sometimes completely overwhelms me.
I am so thankful for the Roc’s big grins and giggles. I’m especially grateful today that the Roc woke up happy. It can be very telling when he wakes up in a bad mood. It can sometimes set the tone for his whole day.
I am ever so thankful to have a husband that cooks and is willing to deal with the bird! Ewwww!
I am thankful the sun was shinning today and the Roc and I got to go to the playground (a little bundled up).
I am thankful for the three little girls at the playground who talked to the Roc and included him in their game of “hide & go seek” even though he didn’t really understand the game.
I am thankful that the Roc tried a new food tonight for the first time. It’s no small feat when a kid like mine tries something new for the first time. (We did promise him some of his special ice cream as a reward.)
I am thankful for the little rituals that bring the Roc joy, like my running and jumping on his bed every night before we read stories. The squeal he lets out as I come running is ear piercing and adorable all at the same time.
I am thankful for the spontaneous original speech that slides out when I least expect it. For example, he was putting on his underwear and told me “I can do it all by myself.” Floored me!
I am also thankful for the progress in play skills I see everyday. Before I read to him he had to act out a little scene with his Bobby the Bobcat and a dinosaur stuffed animals.
Most of all, I am just so very thankful that the Roc is mine. I look back on my pregnancy filled with worry and a 3 month bed rest and remember that I prayed to who ever might be in charge to let me keep this baby, I wanted this baby, and I would be the best mother I could be to this baby.
I pleaded again when he was in the NICU.
And it’s something I remind myself on our very bad days.
The Roc is now sound asleep and I’m off to have some pie! Thanks to Nonna for the recipe!