Happy Place

One of the Roc’s favorite places to visit is the beach and we got to go many times in the two weeks we spent visiting GC’s family over Christmas vacation.

We went in sunny warm weather,


IMG_3036with Marcello while he was still in town,

IMG_3049and with the Roc’s cousin Aiden when he came up to stay at Nonna and Nonno’s house for a few days!




We even took our crazy dog to the beach one evening!






It wasn’t sunny every day, but even light rain won’t keep the Roc away from the water.





While we spent most of our time walking on the beach, the Roc and I finally hiked a little trail at the state park (that I won’t step foot on in the summer — poisonous snakes!) and he loved this awesome tree.

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IMG_3409I love that the Roc wants to be outside as much as I do.

We also stopped by the marsh and freshwater lagoon one afternoon so I could photograph birds.




The Roc is working on his patience while I work on my photography.  We both have a long way to go.

The beach is my happy place too.  Especially when I’m with my boy.


Couch Conversations

On Friday night I let the Roc stay up and watch the latest episode of The Biggest Loser with me.  He likes to watch the contestants try to complete the physical challenges and see how they’ve changed over time.

I like watching with him because he gets so excited for the contestants and he cheers them on.  He sits next to me and says, “Come on!  You can do it!  Keep trying!” as they struggle to complete obstacle courses, grueling physical tasks, and puzzles.  He doesn’t like it when they cry and worriedly looks to me to see what I look like.  He often asks me, “Why does your face look like that?” as I hold back tears.  I can’t help it, watching the contestants transform is uplifting and sometimes their stories are heart wrenching, so it’s hard for me not to cry.

Watching with him has led to some interesting conversations on the couch.

This season there is a contestant who has trouble controlling his emotions.  He freaks out and yells when a challenge is something that makes him really uncomfortable.  I often feel uncomfortable watching this man get angry, and his man tantrums remind me of a certain someone who lives in my house.  I’ve wondered if the Roc would make a connection to his own angry outbursts and this man.  A couple weeks ago the Roc whispered, “Come on Rob, you can do it.  Come on!” as Rob got over his freak out and mustered up the courage to rappel down a waterfall.  (For the record, I may have freaked out if someone told me to do the same!)

“Yes!  He did it!  That looked so scary!” the Roc exclaimed while Rob celebrated his accomplishment at the bottom of the waterfall.

“He got pretty mad at the top didn’t he?” I asked the Roc.

“Yeah, he got mad like I do sometimes.”

I didn’t say anything else at that time and the Roc started talking about next challenge as the show moved on.  During last weeks episode Rob started to lose control again when he was presented the challenge of vertically jumping onto a box and the Roc said,

“Oh no, there he goes again!”

“He gets really mad a lot doesn’t he?” I asked the Roc.

“Yeah….maybe he has autism!” the Roc exclaimed, his eyes lighting up.

“Hmmm.  I don’t know, no one has said so on the show, but you never know.  Either way he really needs to learn to control himself doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, I’ve been working on that.  He should too.”

Later, during the weigh-in the Roc said the before pictures of the contestants “looked scary” and I asked him to clarify.

“Their bellies look scary…so big like that….that is not good.  Is that unhealthy Mommy?”

I agreed and then we talked about what the show is about:  How the winner is the one who has lost the most weight, and how eating poorly and not moving around enough had led to their weight gain in the first place.  By losing the weight they would be able to do things they hadn’t before.

“Like that lady who said she could be the fun Mommy now!” he said.   “Exactly,” I agreed.

Sitting next to him on Friday night I realized that he had been watching the show without any judgement or criticism.  He is all about the facts and never had anything bad to say about anyone on the show.  In fact, I don’t ever hear him say anything bad about anyone.  He doesn’t work that way.  In a world where we so often hear people around us making judgements and being critical of others, when they don’t know anything about them, it is absolutely refreshing to see that those thoughts do not come naturally to my child.  It’s not something I did, a way I did or did not parent him, it’s just part of who he is.  Though I would hope that some of the our conversations about negative experiences he has had with peers and the right way to treat others have sunk in…it’s just not in his nature to be judgmental or critical of others.

I love that about him.

Car Conversations

GC took the Roc to his weekly social skills class yesterday under the agreement that I would take the Roc to his hippotherapy session in the afternoon.  I savored the empty house while they were gone.  With GC working from home, I am rarely alone anymore and when I get the chance to be alone in our house, I realize how much I enjoy being by myself…and not talking about plants vs. zombies.

When they got home GC mentioned to me that the Roc got hit at class again this week.  It was news to me that another child hit him last week, but I didn’t ask the Roc any questions about the incident(s) right away.  I knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it.  He already had it in his mind that he would be having a smoothie and then playing plants vs. zombies on his iPad during the forty five minutes he would be home before he had to get back into the car to drive to the barn.  I knew I could ask him about it in the car.

Time and growth have changed so much for the Roc.  I can clearly remember driving down Rt. 13 in Delaware and pointing out the farm equipment and big trucks to a silent Roc.  The fluttery panic I felt when I glanced in the rear view mirror and couldn’t catch his eye.  Now he is rarely silent, but many of our conversations are monologues from the Roc about plants vs. zombies, a place we have been, or a movie the Roc has watched.  Or a series of questions of which he already knows the answers.  But that too is slowly changing and I know that he will sometimes talk to me on the many car rides we take.

So while I drove out into the country I asked him about his social skills class:

“Buddy, I heard that you got hit at social skills today.  What happened?” I asked.

“Not hit, pushed.  L pushed me.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.  What happened right before she pushed you?”

“She yelled, ‘This isn’t going fast enough!’ on the obstacle course and she pushed me!  That was so rude!”  His voice rising in indignation.

“She was behind you on the obstacle course and you weren’t going fast enough for her?”

“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t going fast enough for her and she pushed me.  I got so mad I had to go around the corner to calm down.”

“Well, it sounds like you made the right choice.  I’m so glad you didn’t freak out and scream or push her back,” I told him, knowing that he probably wouldn’t have touched her since he doesn’t like to touch people or be touched.

“I don’t like that she pushed me!  Why did she have to do that?”

“I know buddy, she shouldn’t have done that.  No one should push.  But you did the right thing by walking away.  I’m so proud of you for making the right choice.”

“Ok…but I’m still kinda mad about it.”

“You know that you can tell someone not to touch you right?  You can stand up for yourself.  No one has the right to put their hands on you.”

“Well!  I did!  After she pushed me I got mad and told her not to push me!  And!  She got even madder and she threw her stuffed animal down really hard and screeched at me!  That was when I went around the corner.  Why did she have to get more mad at me!  SHE screamed at ME!  SHE pushed ME!” he yelled from the backseat.

“Roc, I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and we are talking about this now.  You made the right choices.  You are growing up and learning how to handle yourself.  I think L will learn the things you are learning too.  It might take her awhile.  But you showed her the right way to react today.”

“I thought that would be my best choice.  I didn’t want to get in trouble.”

“Well, it was.  It sounds like L was having some problems making the right choices today.”

“Yeah!  You know what?  M showed us the smiley face he drew and L just said, Nobody cares, and that was rude.  She has a problem being rude.  And then M grabbed a couple pictures off the schedule and ripped them into pieces and said, There!  That will make it go faster!  And I thought, Man! What is up with these two today?'”

“Wow.  It sounds like social skills was pretty interesting today.”

“Yeah, I didn’t say that last part.  I didn’t let it out of my head.  I didn’t know if I could say it out loud.  So I didn’t say anything…”

We pulled into the parking lot right at that moment.  I put the car in park and turned back to the Roc.

“I am so proud of you Roc.  You are growing up into a very nice young man.”

“I’m proud of me too.  If we gave gold stars I would definitely have gotten one for that!  I would have gotten TWO purple sticks if that had happened at school!”

“Yup, you would have,” I told him as we walked into the building.  He immediately changed the subject to what makes him nervous about riding and we went through our familiar pep talk about the noises horses make and how it is important to learn all the steps of taking care of a horse, not just how to ride one.

A few minutes later, after he had gone off to brush and help saddle his horse, I started scribbling down our conversation, knowing that I would want to record it here.  When the young therapist came over and sat down I relayed the conversation to her and she said,

“He is growing up into such an awesome person.”

I wholeheartedly agree.

Awesome indeed.


SC Christmas + Cousins

A few weeks before Christmas we decided to road trip to South Carolina to spend the holidays with GC’s family.  We hadn’t spent Christmas with his parents since 2006.

We were in good spirits on our drive down,

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even the dog.


GC’s parents were on a cruise so we spent the first couple days in their house without them.  The Roc and his Nonna made some Christmas cookies together when they got back.


IMG_2791The Roc was very excited to be with his SC cousins for Christmas.  He was most excited to sleep at his cousins house on Christmas eve and wake up with them on Christmas morning…which is what GC and I were most worried about.  Our Christmases have always been quiet and calm.  This year would be so different and we could envision many things that could make the Roc melt.  We did a lot of prepping before we left home and crossed our fingers that things would go smoothly.  I was still worried a little until my sister-in-law Andrea texted me,

“We love Roc so much and will be there to help if he has a rough time.  It will be different for him to be here and we totally understand that.”

There is nothing like family who love your kid just as he is, understand that things may be hard for him, and are willing to step in and help.  We are so lucky.

The Roc spent Christmas eve morning playing on the iPad and continually asking when we would drive down to his auntie Andrea’s house.


When we got there the fun began.  The kids were so joyful.  The Roc and his cousins immediately got together.  They spent the night laughing and dancing.




IMG_2853The Roc and his cousin Bella even made up a dance and performed it for us.  They are so cute together.  Bella is a gift.  She is sweet, playful, and so wonderful with the Roc.  She reassures him when he is anxious and she is willing to play all night.  She is a very special girl.

IMG_2928The kids weren’t the only ones having a good time.  There was a lot of laughter in the kitchen.





Guinness found a friend in my youngest nephew Anderson!  He tried to hide his face but I captured this shot this funny little guy.


My mother-in-law shed a few tears when my brother-in-law from Colorado surprised us all and showed up!  We were so happy to see him!

IMG_2921At the end of the night the kids all opened new pjs from their Nonna and Nonno.

IMG_2931Before the kids went to bed my nephew Aiden read, “The Night Before Christmas” to all the younger kids.  Almost all of my pictures of Aiden on Christmas Eve are of his blurry face as he slid in front of the camera or waved his hand in the corner of my frame.  Except this one.  He’s a good kid.

IMG_2957A moment the Roc still talks about.

The next morning the Roc expressed some anxiety before leaving the bedroom to open presents, but after a little pep talk he told me, “Okay, I’m ready now.  Let’s do this.”

IMG_2958The kids had a blast opening up their gifts.



We spent the rest of the day eating and relaxing before we headed back to GC’s parents house.


The holiday was a success all around.  The Roc had so much fun spending time with his cousins and he was very well behaved.  As we drove out of Andrea’s neighborhood GC and I looked at each other and he said to me, “I think that was my favorite Christmas yet.”

Last year, for reasons we never figured out, the Roc had such a hard time on Christmas day.  So we are extra thankful for such a family filled fun holiday.

We made wonderful memories.


October in Pictures

We went camping up north the first weekend of October.  The weather was  pleasant enough on our first day, but it turned ugly that night.  Rain on and off, the temperature kept dropping, and the wind picked up as the weekend wore on.  We still had fun and (most) of us (the Roc and I) were prepared with cold weather gear….ahem GC is wearing shorts in this pic, though you obviously cannot tell…



I was glad I bought the dog a fleece sweatshirt, even though I felt ridiculous buying it.  He appreciated it.


The Roc was happy to get out of school for two days and go to some of his favorite places.  Waterfalls!



The windchill was definitely well below freezing on our second to last morning and the Roc looked like this


in his sleeping bag while GC and I were getting breakfast together so we decided to head home a day early.  It was COLD.  We stopped by some waterfalls on the way home, which made the Roc happy.


Coming home a day early meant we were back in time for the Roc to skate in the Special Hockey open skate down at the University of Minnesota.


He thought everything Goldy the Gopher did was funny, but he still didn’t want to talk to him.



The location of the Roc’s hippotherapy changed when the therapist got a new job at a gorgeous camp.  The indoor ring is awesome with lots of seating so I can watch him ride, there is a little black kitten who always comes and sleeps on my lap,

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and the trails are beautiful.  The Roc loves the trail ride portion of his lesson (which will be ending now that winter is almost here.)

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My mom had a birthday and the Roc LOVES to celebrate birthdays so he picked out a cake at the grocery store and insisted we bring it to Grandma.  I need more pictures of the Roc and my mom, they have a special connection.  Both my parents are wonderful to the Roc.

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My parents and I took the Roc hiking one day.  The fall colors were gorgeous.



The Roc likes to geocache with his Grandpa.  When I asked him if he wanted me to buy a gps so we could go geocaching he said, “But we do that with Grandpa.”  Yup, we do.


We went a little farther off the trail than we should have on this afternoon and didn’t end up finding the “treasure” as the Roc calls it because my dad and I were a little worried we might fall of the earth.


Even though we didn’t find what we were looking for, and the Roc complained bitterly, the scenery made up for it.


A whole forest of yellow maples in the late afternoon sun.  I couldn’t get over the golden color.



Towards the end of October I met up with my best friend Christa for our annual get-a-way!  We spent the first two days walking around colonial Williamsburg, taking house tours and learning a lot about the revolutionary period.





IMG_2390We also walked around Jamestown which was fascinating.




IMG_2479We had a really great time chatting, eating, laughing, catching up, and learning all about colonial times.

Before dropping me off at the airport we stopped by a plantation and took the tour.

IMG_2484After all our touring, listening, and reading museum placards on our trip I suggested that next year we spend a few days laying on a beach somewhere reading trashy novels.  No learning allowed.  We’ll see what happens next fall…


Something I didn’t take many pictures, and I really should have, was all the decorating the Roc did for Halloween.  As soon as it was October 1st he was allowed to talk about the October holiday (not that he refrained from talking about it since his birthday was over in early August, but I had good reason to tell him that I wouldn’t talk about it until October 1st-my sanity)  The Roc loves Halloween and proclaims it to be his favorite holiday.  He wanted to decorate with the few decorations we have, buy more decorations, and then when I wouldn’t buy as many as he wanted, we made one,


and then over the month he made many, many more.  He also really wanted a Halloween pinata, I think so he could get more candy.


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Like most parents we ended the month of October with pumpkins,




and lots of candy.



Grasshoppers + Death + Life

The Roc and I went on a walk a couple days ago, and as soon as we came back inside he settled in with his iPad and I came up to my computer and started to record our conversation.  I’ve come back to this page over the last few days and written the rest.  He’s come so far and I’m so proud of the connections he is making and the emotional growth he is able to express.  I wanted to capture this time.


I have been pushing the Roc to converse with me instead of delivering monologues at me.  It’s really hard to talk about Halloween (since the beginning of August,) Plants vs. Zombies (since last Christmas!) and what we are going to bake next – over and over and over again.  Every.single.day.  It is extremely one-sided and the Roc has been expressing anger when I don’t listen and answer him with a distracted, “Umm-hmmm.”  I want the Roc to be able to converse with peers and adults (and me!)  So I’ve been pushing the boundaries of his language skills.  I prod him to give me more details about school by asking if something fun happened that day, and he is no longer allowed to say recess and/or lunch.  I tell him that I will only talk about Plants vs. Zombies for the first two minutes of our walks and then I try to steer him in a different direction.  I prompt him to ask me a question, any question he can think of, about me or my day.  He usually asks me if I had a good day and what I did.  Even though it’s forced and he told me he doesn’t actually care what I did that day, it’s a start, and a skill needed to get along in this world.

We’ve been going on a lot of walks lately, both to enjoy the weather, and also to get out of the house while GC is ripping out and installing new flooring.  It is so loud and the Roc has a hard time with the noise, even while wearing his noise-canceling headphones.  The grasshoppers are everywhere on the trails during our walks and the Roc tends to get frustrated when they jump right in front of him.  One day last week he got so mad that he stomped on a grasshopper and when I turned to look we both saw the grasshopper half smooshed, pulling itself by centimeters across the blacktop.  I gasped and said that looked like a horrible way to die and the Roc immediately crouched down and tears came to his eyes.  He told me he wished he hadn’t stomped on the bug, that it was living before he did that, and now it couldn’t go on with it’s life.  He asked me if I could fix it and hung his head when I told him I couldn’t.  We watched the grasshopper eventually stop moving and the Roc asked if he could mark the grave by piling up some grass.  After he did that he wanted to celebrate the grasshoppers life, which we did by saying a few words about the weather and how nice a life the little bug must have had in the park.  After some time the Roc said he was ready to walk on, but he didn’t think he would feel better for awhile.

Seeing how open he was I tried to make the connection of how the Roc felt about the grasshopper and how much worse it would be if we were to see a pet get hurt.  I mentioned how much harder it would be to see Guinness get injured and how devastated we would feel if we couldn’t save him.  Our conversation moved on to hunting (which he was talking about lately with GC ) and he made the connection that if it was hard for him to watch a grasshopper die, then it would be near impossible to watch a deer die.  (I breathed a sigh of relief as I didn’t really want him to want to hunt.)  He wanted to know why people hunted instead of just letting the animals live and I tried to explain population control to him, but he got stuck on wanting people to leave animals alone.

Talking about animals seemed to brighten the Roc up considerably and he launched into telling me about how more animals are made…and then people…I was fully enjoying the fact that we were not talking about one of his three main subjects of late.

“Mommy, did you know that one animal makes another animal and then that animal makes two more and then those two animals make more and more and it just keeps going?  Did you know that animals make animals?”

“Yes, Roc.  I did know that.”

“Did you know that people make people?” he asked me.  “Yup.”

“Did you make me?”

“Yup.  I did.”  I wondered whether this was going to lead to the question I don’t want to answer:  How did he get inside me?  Luckily, he didn’t ask that particular question.  Instead he brought up the miscarriage I had a few years ago.

“Mommy, remember that baby that was in your belly and it died?”


“I still feel sad about that and I wish we could have had another kid.  I really wish I had someone to play with.  I don’t have anyone to play with and I really wish I did.”

“Well, I know you wish that and sometimes Mommy feels sad about that baby too.  But you know what?  I am so happy that I got to have you.  Did I ever tell you that when you were in my belly the doctors told me that there was a chance that I might lose you?  I didn’t know for a long time while I was pregnant with you if you were going to live.  It was hard and I am so thankful and grateful that I got to have you.  And there are some benefits to being an only child you know?  You get all my attention.  I can take you places and travel with you, like when we go to Arizona in the winter.  It’s lucky in some ways, that you are an only.”

The Roc pondered that for a moment and then said,

“Well, I still wish there was someone in the house to play with, but you know what?  I’m really glad that I was born a boy.”

“Really?  Why?”

“Because then I don’t have to grow a baby.  I don’t want to have to do that and so I’m glad that I don’t have to.”

“Yup, you are right.  You won’t ever have to grow a baby in your belly.”

Then he asked if he could talk about Halloween and so I told him yes..and I tried to muster some enthusiasm and attention for this repetitive topic.  My mind wandered back over what had just happened and the connections the Roc has been making lately while he chattered on about the desserts I already agreed to bake, the costume he was going to wear, the new decorations I already agreed to buy, the kinds of pumpkins he wanted to carve, and the decorations he was going to make.

I smiled as I walked on, half listening, and thought about how grateful I am to have the chance to slow down and savor life.  Everything is hard won with this boy and he works so hard every day.


Yesterday the Roc was inside the house while I mowed the lawn and GC worked on the floor.  I knew he wasn’t happy as I could hear him through the open windows telling his father to be quiet.  I loaded up the van with some stuff to bring to the town composting site and poked my head inside to ask the Roc if he wanted to come along for the ride.  He did and he told me loudly how unhappy he was that it was so noisy in the house.  He was agitated  in the car and screamed loudly about a butterfly flying near him in the van as I drove out of the neighborhood.  I could see his face screwed up in anger and his arms waving around in the rear view mirror and then I saw that it was moth.

“Don’t kill it Roc!  Remember how you felt when you squashed the grasshopper last week?!”

“I already killed it,” he told me.

“Oh no, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel bad this time.”

“You don’t?” I asked him.

“No, it is different today.  My emotions didn’t come out.”

Huh.  I didn’t see that coming.

I hid my smile and turned up the music.



I love his word choices and how he is learning to express himself.  The growth is inside as much as it is on the outside.

I feel so lucky to be witnessing his transformation.


Letters + The First Day

The Roc and I skipped the chaos of the elementary school open house at the end of August, and opted instead to schedule a private time for him to see his new fourth grade classroom and to meet the new autism teacher.  This private meeting is something we’ve done since he started school, and I am always relieved that everyone is willing to accommodate him in this way.  The morning of our meeting, while he played in my big bathtub, I sat on the floor and asked him questions about school, what he liked and disliked and if there was anything he wanted the new teachers to know before school started.  I also tried to get him to tell me what things the teachers could do to help him if he was having a hard time, but he couldn’t tell me.  I took notes and used them to type up a letter.  I read it to him and he approved (mostly to get me to stop talking about school I suspect.)

Here are the Roc’s words, (except the first two sentences which I added) his first foray into self advocacy:

Dear Teachers,

My name is the Roc and I am in your class this year.  I want you to know a little about me.  I have autism and sometimes it is hard for me to stay calm.  I feel nervous about school when I don’t know to expect.  I don’t know the kids in my class.  I am also nervous about what will happen during the day (my schedule) and I like to know what comes next.  I am worried about what to do at recess and who will play with me. 

I hope I have a teacher helper again this year.  I need help and they help me in the classroom.  Then I don’t have to wait for the teacher who has to help everyone else.

I am good at recess and running.  I also like gym.  Daily 5 isn’t my favorite.  Reading and math are hard for me and I always have to do work.  Work is hard and I get frustrated.



Yesterday I followed that letter up with an email to the people who work with the Roc everyday at school:

Hello Team Roc!

With the new school year starting tomorrow I thought I would send you all a little note about how the Roc is doing since school let out in May and what we have been working on this summer.  I thought this would be good for those of you who have never worked with the Roc before.  :)

We believe that the Roc’s success is a team effort and we are always available to answer any questions and we hope to communicate with you all as the year goes on.  We take our responsibility as part of this team very seriously and will gladly take any suggestions you have in regards to helping the Roc grow academically, socially and emotionally.

The Roc has had a good summer and went to a few weeks of ESY before we headed to SC to visit family for the month of July, he also participated in a day camp through True Friends as well as a 4 day social skills camp at the end of August.

As evidenced in the letter he gave to Mrs. fourth grade and Ms. autism teacher when we had our private “open house,” the Roc knows that he is autistic and he knows that he has a harder time staying calm than other kids.  He has expressed this summer that he doesn’t like that he is different and he wishes his brain worked like everyone else.  We are working hard to build his self esteem and show him that he is so much more than autism.  We want him to like himself and be happy with who he is.

The Roc is still having a hard time with mimicking other children to get a reaction.  He displayed this behavior with his cousins this summer and also during day camp.  We have been talking a lot about other people’s feelings and I recently bought a self-control & empathy workbook to do with Rocco.  Just a heads up that this is still an issue.
The Roc has been obsessing over spiderwebs for awhile and it has gotten so bad that he won’t eat if he sees one (my house is very clean now.)  I do not know if he will talk about this at school, but if you see him scanning the ceiling and all the nooks and crannies of a room–he is probably searching for spiderwebs.  I welcome any suggestions anyone may have in how we can help him overcome his spiderweb issue.
The Roc has been twisting up the left side of his shirts for many months now.  I bought a bunch of hand fidgets and while he does like to have something in his hands, he still twists up his shirt.  We are not calling attention to it anymore as he was getting very upset when we talked about it too much.
The Roc loves, loves, loves plants vs. zombies on his iPad.  He probably won’t talk about it at school because he said, “zombies aren’t appropriate for school and I don’t want to get an FYI.”    He has made up his own zombie game at home which he calls nerf gun vs. zombies.  We use a behavior chart at home that is plants vs. zombies themed and he earns tokens for positive behaviors and we take tokens away for offenses.
The Roc loves a good joke and is starting to be able to tell when people are joking with him. He loves to tell jokes, but needs a little work on coming up with them on his own.  :)  (C told him to think of a few things that would help him have a good week this week and jokes came up.)  He doesn’t quite understand when people laugh because he said something funny when he didn’t mean to.
The Roc has a hard time looking people in the eye and he has told me it is because he doesn’t know what they are thinking.  I have told him he can look at someone’s forehead instead of their eyeballs if this makes him more comfortable.
Please know that we are always available to answer any questions or concerns you may have and we love to hear when you notice progress in the Roc. Feel free to pass this along to anyone else who works with the Roc.
Good luck tomorrow!

Last night the Roc freaked out a bit at bedtime (understatement) and even though he said he was mad because I let him play the iPad too long (I did) and I’m not tough enough to make him stop (Yesterday I wasn’t.  Hello end of summer, hanging on by my fingernails, whatever works) I also knew it was because school is starting back up.  I was proved right when he started to scream, “I hate my life!  I don’t want to go to stupid school!  It’s boring!” when I told him to get his pjs on and teeth brushed because he had to get some sleep before school.  Bedtime turned into an hour long cool down session with the white board.  I wrote what was making him angry: Plants vs. Zombies 2, the dog staring at him, and his clothes not going where he wanted them to when he tried to fling them from the second floor down into the family room.  Then I wrote some solutions/options to what was making him angry:  Stop playing the game forever, or for a few days, take a break, take a deep breath, call up the inventors of Plants vs. Zombies 2 and tell them they are greedy, stupid heads who made the game way too hard.  I wrote more silly stuff for the dog staring and clothes flinging issues and was delighted when he burst out laughing.  We eventually wrote out his morning schedule and I drew a map at the bottom of how to get to his classroom.  He didn’t want to talk about school, only asking if he would still ride the van instead of the bus.


It wasn’t as hard to get him up and out the door as I thought it would be this morning.  He did what he usually does on school days and dragged his feet through the morning routine causing him to run out of time to read (I read to him, either books from the library or Harry Potter) before the BUS came.  Oh my, it was a bus and not the van!  It’s been a van for three years!  The only thing he asked me the night before school started was if the van was going to pick him up and I hurriedly said, “Yup, of course!  You don’t ride the big bus, you ride the van.”  The look he gave me when a big bus stopped at the end of our driveway was of pure and utter shock.  He was speechless.  Lucky for him the bus driver seems super, duper nice and he asked me a bunch of questions while the bus aide (an aide on the bus!  Yay!) showed him to his seat.

I got an email during the day from Mrs. fourth grade saying that he was doing great in her room and was “delightful,” as well as thanking me for the earlier email with all the info on the Roc, that it helped her immensely.  I also got an email from Ms. autism teacher this evening stating that the Roc had a wonderful day, was a lot of fun, was nice to a younger student in her room, and only had one hiccup which involved him not being able to take another student’s perspective when they were upset.  I was glad to get these emails as the Roc would only tell me that he had fun at recess and then all he wanted to talk about for the rest of the evening was Halloween, plants vs. zombies, and what we could bake next (we bake together every week.)

We we made it!  First day of fourth grade over and done!

Obligatory first day of school pic: