Warning: this post is about poo (and I’m not talking about the cuddly guy who likes honey), so if you don’t have children and/or this isn’t a topic you discuss with friends regularly you may want to skip this post. Those of us with kids and especially kids on the spectrum are more than comfortable discussig our kids poo. Hey, I even document it’s size, color, firmness, food particle containment, and frequency on a chart in a 3-ring binder in my kitchen. Lovely, I know.
Anyway, the Roc has been successfully peeing in the potty for the last 6 months, and has even been standing up lately too! Yay Roc! It’s the other one we’re having a problem with…poo…He refuses to poo in the toilet. He knows he has to go, he will even check to see if he’s wearing underwear and then come and request a pull up. We’ve tried rewards and food and promises to go somewhere he really likes…nada. No poo in the toilet.
On Friday GC decided that he’s had enough of changing diapers and it’s about time the Roc poo in the toilet. He decided he would take on this task and get him to poo where he’s supposed to. I’ll admit that I chuckled on the inside at this proclamation. He thought it was the perfect opportunity because the Roc hadn’t poo’d in two days and was showing signs of having to go and requested a pull up. I held my tongue. GC told him it was time to poo like a big boy and proceeded to struggle with him and get him on the toilet. Lot’s of crying followed (the Roc, not GC). No poo. GC then decided he would set the timer and every 5 minutes he would put the Roc on the toilet. The Roc clearly had to go, but no poo. The Roc was not happy about this new arrangement and fussed and whined every time he was lead to the bathroom. It was such a pleasant evening…with no poo! The kid held it all night!! He even went to bed and fell asleep without going! Three days without pooing!! Poor kid!
When the Roc woke up on Saturday he filled his night-time pull up and lucky for me it was GC’s turn to go and get him from his room. I knew that wasn’t the end of the poo because the Roc had three days worth inside that little tummy. Now, here comes the problem and the reason for this post. The Roc started pooing in his underwear! NOOOO!! I was on the phone with a good friend from the frozen tundra (Minnesota) when GC stormed into the the room yelling “he just shit his pants and now there’s shit all over the floor” and then he stormed out. Thanks for the update. Apparently, the Roc didn’t inform his father like he usually does that he had to go and was wearing underwear and instead just poo’d in his pants (and it fell out of said pants onto the floor). MN girlfriend got to hear GC’s lovely outburst and explained that her wonderful husband recently made their son (NT) sit on the toilet for an hour because he had to poo, was not pooing in his pants, but was going to poo in the toilet. She suggested this approach to potty training might be a “guy thing.” Later in the day the Roc came up to me with an abashed look on his face and said “did you do something?” Translation: I did something and I’m embarrassed. More poo in the pants…lovely.
GC was pretty upset by this turn of events and I told him it was what I was afraid of – pushing the Roc to poo in the toilet would push him backwards on the potty training scale. I’m sure it was like an “I told you so” and I know he feels bad. He told me that he feels like a “shitty father” and that he hopes he didn’t “ruin him.” I told him I don’t agree with those statements but I do know how he feels because I feel that way numerous times a week, sometimes a day. Especially towards the end of the week when my patience has run down to a thin wire and I need a “mental health break.” I wish those were written into my job description!
Now it’s Sunday morning and I’m curious to see what happens today. I’m hoping the Roc will start to tell me again when he has to poo though I think he may be empty as he did go FOUR times yesterday. The fourth occurring after we put him to bed, another good reason to check on him at night.
So now I’m left to wonder how in the world do people get their kids to poo in the toilet? Is this a problem other people have with their kids? Do we lay off and let him keep going in pull ups or do we push the potty?
Help!
Well, first let me say I am so not offended by poo! I have dealt with a lot of poo the last 6 years of my life! I am sure Rocco will get back on track and in time he will go on the potty. He has already reached so many milestones and this one will come too.
Kimberly ELIZABETH…..a 3-ring binder?!?! PLEASE don’t post any pictures – hee hee! Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Bugaboo is 3 and a half, and we’re only about 25% poopin’ on the pot at our house. He’s always proclaiming (in a perplexed voice) “it just came out, it just came out!”. Hope your Sunday is going well!
Hey, thanks for visiting my blog! And back at you with the fantastic blog comment.
My sons both struggled with poo training until they were 4-1/2:
* Rocky finally started to use the toilet when he found out that Brett Favre didn’t wear a pull-up under his uniform (Rocky wore nothing but a Packers uniform, complete with helmet and shoulder pads, for two years).
* Taz finally got sick of the smell of poo, which he found was less intense when it was in the toilet water!
In both cases, until they wanted the training, it was counter-productive to even try. Maybe that will be the case with GC. (BTW, the book Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders by Maria Wheeler is a great resource and might give you some ideas to get the process going.)
I had this happen twice to my friend, Jenny, where her children would ask for a pull up when they had to go number 2. She eventually just took away the option for the pull up by telling them, “Sorry, we’re all out.” I don’t remember them having too, too many accidents after that. Very quickly they realized that they didn’t want to sit in their stinky poo. Not sure how Rocco would respond to that, but just another thought!
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Hey can I relate to this! Chee requests a pullup to poop too. She’s been pee-trained for about 6 months now, but she always always always asks for a pullup to poop. I have tried to force the issue … to no avail.
Here’s my next strategy … a social story. I have a social story about peeing that I never ended up using with her, so I think I’m going to modify it for pooping in the toilet. I’m not going to push her to go in the toilet, but I’m going to just let the social story sink in.
This is one of those things that is just going to take time. We have to be patient. Sigh.
Hey Kim……had to laugh at the story you shared!! But honored to be mentioned in your blog as the Minnesota Friend!!
I do have to say that the sitting on the toliet for an hour did not help Kyle at all. Since then we have laid off on the pressure and he has begun telling us again when he needs to go.
I just got caught up on some of your posts today. I loved your Thanksgiving one. And I am also thankful to your sister for having you create this blog.
Love Ya
HI Kim–
I enjoy reading your entries and getting a parent perspective on everything you’re going through and feeling. I wish all parents worked as hard as you do. I am still looking for the miracle of potty training for some of my students. Have you heard of Power cards? If not let me know and I can get you more info. It would be another idea to use with a social story. I can’t believe you had a 2.5 hour IEP meeting. WOW! Remember I’m here if you have questions about anything. Good-luck with the K decision. Keep up the hard work Rocco!
Melissa
[...] that serves tortilla chips – CORN overload). Nada. GC even tried to force him. Remember this post? After the pooy underwear I decided I would let it go for awhile, because that’s just [...]
[...] chips but it took much more to entice him to poo in the toilet. We learned early on not to force the issue otherwise we (I) would have to deal with the consequence (pooy undies). We tried [...]