Seashore State Park

The Roc didn’t have summer school on Monday so I decided we would head down to the beach, just the two of us.  It’s only a little over an hour away.  I don’t know why we don’t go more often.  I think I’ll change that this summer.   It was a GORGEOUS day.

The Roc had fun in the sand.

He didn’t want to go in the water (it is a little cold, though that’s not why he won’t go near the ocean) but he did go for a walk with me instead.

We saw pelicans,

and the other sea birds that are near every big body of water,

and the Roc let me take take his picture.

After almost 4 hours he told me “I’m done with this.  I want to go home now.”  and so we did.  That’s when we hit our only snag of the day.  He walked onto the beach wearing his socks and sneakers.  When we packed up to leave I threw those in the bag and we started to trudge off through the sand, the very hot, burn the skin off your feet sand.  The Roc was PISSED.  In the middle of a huge throng of beach people (why must everyone clump by the beach entrances?) the Roc threw a screaming fit complete with ear shattering, beach serenity destroying screeches, snot, and a bit of drool.  I was carrying a blanket, beach bag, toy bag and little cooler, and I ended up carrying him on my back as well!  All the while he screamed in my ear about how the sand “hurted his feet!”  I felt like a jackass and probably looked like one too.

It’s the second thing I’ll do differently the next time we go to the beach, put his socks and shoes back on before we go back to the car (he won’t wear sandles, don’t even suggest it).  The first thing I’ll do differently is set up camp way down the beach to get away from all the people who like to sit on top of each other to be near the beach entrances.  Seriously!  Did you SEE all that beach in the above pictures?

Happy 4th!

We just finished watching the fireworks from our back windows.  The Roc was too scared to come to the window until I had GC go get the headphones for him to wear.  Then he sat on my lap with a blanket and some stuffed animals and ejoyed the 20 minute show.  The fireworks are set off in a park behind our development so we have prime seats!  (and it’s very loud!)

Minnesota in pictures

The Roc and I went to Minnesota for 9 days to visit family and friends.  He was a little sick when we left and I ended up taking him to urgent care on a Sunday morning, which was lots of fun (sarcasm), to get his breathing under control, he has “sickness induced asthma.”  After our visit to urgent care I got to see my niece’s dance recital which was a lot of fun.  She’s on a competition team and dances WAY better than I ever will be able to, and she’s only 7!!

The next day we went “up north” to a cabin on Lake Superior.  Love it up there.  The Roc loves climbing around on the rocks,

and hiking.

My Dad and nephew Brian took a canoe out for a ride.

Later we went to Split Rock Lighthouse State Park.

Then we went to Gooseberry Falls State Park.

Which is always a little nerve wracking as these next 2 photos demonstrate:

Back at the resort we spent each evening in the lodge’s (indoor) pool and hot tub, of which I have no pictures, too busy in the water.  I got a couple great shots of the Roc when he was all worn out after swimming.

He still needed breathing treatments while we were there,

but the big bathtub made up for it.

On our way back down to the cities we stopped in Duluth and got to see a big ship leaving.

and I finally got photographic evidence of the Roc WEARING a baseball cap.  Rare.

After our “trip within a trip” was over we got to see some of my girl friends from high school and their kids.  Melissa & Ella:

Hilary with 2 of her 3 kids in the doorway to their new HUGE travel trailer:

Kamie has 2 kids but is holding a kitten in this photo.

The Roc enjoyed playing on their play set and pouring sand down the big slide.

He finally started to play with the kids about 15 minutes before we had to leave.  A chasing game of course.

We also went to the nearby parks and saw a little waterfall,

and took a walk in the woods.

I also got together with an old friend and we took the Roc to Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis. Have you noticed a waterfall theme on this trip yet?  The Roc is slightly obsessed with all things falling, especially water.

Before we left to fly back to the East Coast we spent an afternoon at my sister’s house.  The Grandparents played croquet with a couple of their grandchildren,

the Roc played on the playset with his cousin,

and Molly showed off her amazing dog trick.

The trip went by very quickly and it was strange to be sitting in my kitchen after I got home the same day I woke up in my childhood bedroom in Minnesota.   The Roc had more than a few moments that made me want to tear my hair out because of his sickness, the 2 different medications he was taking, the trip within a trip, etc.  But it was a fun trip nontheless and I’m so glad I was able to see my family and friends and all these trips are learning experiences for the Roc.  Hopefully I’ll get GC to come back “home” with me so he can see “up north” for himself.  Maybe next year.

He’s been eating a lot of brownies…

Warning:  This post is about poo.  If you don’t like to discuss poo (you probably don’t have kids or you’re past this stage of kid raising or you’re just WAY more mature than I am) then I won’t be offended if you don’t read further.  You were warned.

The Roc has finally accomplished something I’ve been waiting a LONG time for: Pooing in the POTTY!! YAY!

A year ago he starting peeing in the potty.  All I needed to offer were a few GFCF chocolate chips and the boy got it done.  No problems.  No accidents.  Easy.  He’s been peeing in the potty ever since, standing up even!

My second, and much larger, hurdle was to get him to poo in the potty.  No amount of chocolate chips could entice him.  We took away all sweets and offered them as a reward for pooing in the potty.  No effect.  We promised toys.  Nothing.  We told him we would take him to his favorite restaurant (a Mexican place that serves tortilla chips – CORN overload).  Nada. GC even tried to force him.  Remember this post?  After the pooy underwear I decided I would let it go for awhile, because that’s just not fun to clean up, and I’m a cheap girl, I’m not buying new underwear every time he has that kind of accident!!  I did leave a box of brownies on the back of the toilet as a reminder for the Roc.  He would even tell me “I’ll get brownies if I poo in the toilet.”  but it still wasn’t working. That brownie mix sat on the back of the toilet for many, many months (don’t worry, it didn’t expire, but I did have a few friends ask me if I knew I had brownies in my bathroom).  I couldn’t think of anything that would get him to “go.”  Very frustrating.

Then, as we were coming up to the year mark of successfully peeing in the potty I had a “light bulb” moment.  The POOL!! The Roc LOVES the pool.  It’s what we do all summer long.  He can hardly wait to get there.  It’s what he’s been talking about for weeks!  I wondered if that could be the reinforcer that would get the job done, so to speak.

As the weather started to get nicer the Roc started talking about the pool.  I casually told him that there is a rule that little boys his age would only be allowed to swim in the pool if they were potty trained, pooing in the toilet, full time.  He didn’t like that idea and had a slightly terrified look in his eyes and said “that wouldn’t be good.”  I gently reminded him every time (many times a day) when he would bring up how excited he was to go to the pool when it opened.

Two weeks ago the Roc told me he had to poo while we were reading some books.  I, very animatedly, told him that I REALLY wanted to make those brownies downstairs and if he would only poo in the toilet we could make them!  AND he would get to go to the pool when it opened–very soon!!  He got very excited and said he wanted to use the toilet.  Once seated upon said toilet he burst into tears and started screaming that he wanted to get down, that he didn’t have to “go.”  I decided not to back down and told him I knew he had to “go” and he was going to use the toilet.  Lots of screaming followed.  He got on and off the toilet a gazillion times, while I physically blocked his escape from the bathroom.  After about an hour, (literally!), and lots of tears, he finally went!!!  Whew!

We immediately went downstairs and made those brownies.  He was thrilled to have a brownie (it had been months and months).  We had the same sort of struggle with him the next day (lots of crying and screaming and my butt fell asleep from sitting in the hallway because I wasn’t allowed to leave his sight) but after a few days the fight seemed to go out of him and he “got it.”

At the end of last week we went over and signed up for the pool and I took him swimming both Saturday and Sunday for a few hours each.  He was in heaven.  He is so proud of himself, he spontaneously told our neighbor that he poo’d in the toilet so he got to go to the pool.  He even told his horseback riding instructor!  Pretty funny!

I am just so happy.  No more icky diapers for me to change!!  I’m still giving him brownies, but only once a day, and never before a meal.  I know that I’ll have to fade this out eventually, but I think I’ll wait until after our Minnesota vacation.  I don’t want any regression on this great new skill!

ps: don’t worry, I didn’t take any pictures of this potty training experience, though I will admit the thought crossed my mind, but only to totally gross out my sister.  I’m camea happy, but not that crazy!

Emotionally Disturbed…

I had an IEP meeting last Wednesday to determine the classification (label) that the Roc will have attached to him so he can continue to get the services he needs because he didn’t qualify for an educational label of autism (so stupid).

There are only a few labels he could have.  Autism, which they already determined he doesn’t qualify for, read about that here.  Learning Disabled, which he doesn’t qualify for (yet) because he’s not showing any academic issues, Other Health Impaired, for those children with things that the school district cannot diagnose, like ADHD, OCD, FA, and/or physical disabilities, and Emotionally Disturbed…

That is the label they are going to give the Roc at school.  Emotionally disturbed.  It sounds terrible, it sounds like something that I, his mother, inflicted upon him.  Emotionally disturbed my ass.

He has AUTISM!

Their logic is that the problems he presents at school are for the most part behavioral and so he falls under that category.  I was so shocked, I thought they were going to label him learning disabled, that I LAUGHED in the meeting.  I asked the psychologist to stop and said “Are you telling me that you are going to label my son, who has Autism, as Emotionally Disturbed?!!  Are you kidding me?  You’ve got to be kidding me!!”  Then I put my face in my hands and laughed.  My stomach was in my toes and I felt like crying but I was sitting there laughing at the injustice of it all.  The laws in this state are so backwards.  He isn’t “Autistic enough” for the Delaware Autism Program so he cannot have the label of Autism, but he has Autism, and the modifications they make for him at school are because of his Autism.  The challenging behaviors he presents both at home and at school are because of his Autism.

I was afraid to tell GC when he got home but his response was not what I expected.  He said “Ahhh, Delaware, I wouldn’t expect anything less of this great state.  I don’t care what they call him, as long as they help him be successful.”  He’s right.  I haven’t signed off on this yet, but if I don’t he won’t get services, so I feel stuck.  My mother suggested that I add an addendum to the IEP stating that I am signing off on the classification but that the Roc has a medical diagnosis of Autism and give that information so it is in his “file.”  I think it’s a good idea and I plan to bring that to our meeting on Thursday when we do the Functional Behavior Assessment.

I told the IEP team that I’m seriously considering sending the Roc to the first day of school in a shirt that says “I’m not emotionally disturbed, I have Autism.”  I know that I won’t, there will be kids in his class that can read, but I am going to talk to the teacher as soon as I can and let him/her know about the Roc’s Autism and how bassackwards this state is.

Emotionally Disturbed.  I’m Emotionally Disturbed!

Get Fit Day

Last Wednesday I was a parent volunteer for the “Get Fit Day” at the Roc’s school.  Again, I was nervous to see how the Roc would handle this huge change in his school routine.  I sent him to school on the bus to at least keep some familiarity to his day.  I actually arrived at the school before the bus, and while I was signing in at the office I saw the bus pull up.  The secretary was nice and let me stare out her windows to watch him enter school.  I stayed out of sight and when he was almost all the way down the hall I leaned out of the office door and snapped this photo.

Totally cute!  Apparently he walks in to school with her everyday like that.

The “Get Fit Day” was a program to promote fitness and get the kids moving.  The preschoolers participated in a bunch of different activities including the hot potato game, soccer,

and the big moon bounce, which the Roc saw as soon as we got onto the football field and was totally stuck on, and talked about while playing hot potato and soccer.  He couldn’t get in it fast enough, but was very good about waiting his turn (sometimes too good and kids would butt in line ahead of him-good thing Mommy was there to stand up for him!)

He totally shocked me by how much he was willing to climb.

The only activity he refused to participate in was the “ice skating” station.  He was at the end of the line so he had to wait for most of his class to go first and when it was finally his turn he was just “done.”  There were lots of kids from different classes around and one of the volunteers working the station tried to pick him up and put him on her hip to talk to him.  He was NOT happy about being picked up by a stranger and he went down hill from there, so I took him over to the playground where half the class already was.  They played for awhile and then went back inside for snack.

I have a hard time whenever I go to these school events.  I try not to compare, but I just can’t seem to stop myself and it pains me sometimes (who am I kidding?  It pains me every time) to see how different the Roc is from his classmates.  I always leave feeling slightly sick to my stomach.

What is even more painful is to see him want to play with his peers but not understand the rules of their games or get flat out rejected.  After snack the kids did “free play” and the Roc went over to two boys playing with soft blocks and asked “Do you want to build a HUGE tower with me?” to which one of the boys looked up and said “NO!” and the other completely ignored him.  My heart cracked a little as I watched the Roc sit down and play with the blocks by himself.  It made me so unbelievably sad for the Roc.  He’s come so far, yet he is still so far away from his classmates.

Now, more than a week later I’ve have had a time to think about the event, and I can come up with some positives about the day (because I’ve got to find the positives or I’ll lose my mind!).  The Roc kept telling me “this is different” while we were doing the activities on the field and when we were waiting for the ice skating, which is awesome using his words.  He tried most of the activities even though it was loud, hot, and very busy on the football field, lots of change and sensory overload, and he handled it.  He followed along with his classmates while they played on the playground.  He spontaneously asked a couple classmates to play with him at the block station and when they rejected him he didn’t throw a fit, or try to wreck what they were building.  All good things that a year ago I wondered if he would be able to do.

It was a nice event and I’m so glad the Roc was able to participate.  I’ve got to learn not to compare so much though.  Is that even possible?  Will time help me with that?

I hope so.

Farm Field Trip

Two Friday’s ago I went with the Roc’s preschool class to the farm on a field trip.  I try to go on the field trips even though I’m terribly nervous beforehand (so strange, I know) and very concerned about how the Roc will handle all the changes and handle himself.  His awesome preschool teacher made him a social story and we read it numerous times leading up to the field trip.  I really like social stories and feel that they prepare the Roc for what will happen, but there can be a downside to them too.

The field trip was canceled the first time around because of rain, so we had lots of extra time to read his “My Farm Trip” story.  Two weeks in fact.  In the story there is a line towards the end which says “The farmer will take us on a hay ride” which was supposed to happen the first time around, but didn’t happen when we actually went to the farm two weeks later.  The Roc LOVES to go on hay rides and that was what he was most looking forward to and talked about when we discussed this field trip.

Going on a hayride was also what he talked about DURING the field trip.  He talked about while we looked at the cows.

He talked about it while we watched some cows get milked, saw the big storage tank and milk tanker truck.  He talked about it while we saw all the baby cows (and the farmer said a few of them were to be shot soon…yikes).

It was near the pigs that his awesome preschool teacher heard him and mentioned to me that we were NOT actually going on a hayride this time, we would have on the date that we were rained out, but the tractor driver was too busy on the farm the day we were actually there.  Sigh.  I tried to explain to a very upset Roc that even though I told him we were going on a hayride, we were not.  He was not happy but I did get him to look at the pigs and horses with a bit of enthusiasm,

and then he was happy to ride the bus back to school.

In all it was a good field trip, way better than the first one of the school year, so even though he was stuck on the hayride that never happened, he was able to get over it and move on without throwing a complete tantrum.  And that’s something in of itself.

Summer has arrived!

Get out the sprinklers, put on your bathing suit…and your socks.  Yes, he has his socks on…doesn’t everyone have an intense aversion to grass touching their feet?

Here’s something that happens every time I sit on the back steps.  My very strange, and very obsessive cat, Sophie digs at the window over and over and over again.  It’s funny to hear her little paws repetitively hitting the glass.  I know, I am easily entertained, and a bit of a “cat lady.”

Don’t these pictures just remind you of being a kid?

Computer Problems

I’ve been having lots of computer problems lately and my techi husband has convinced me that I should purchase a Mac mini.  I’m tired of not being able to use my computer and GC is a touch protective over his (I have to wash my hands before I can use his computer, and he watches me…seriously).  Sometime this week I’ll be back and I’ll post about the Roc’s farm field trip, the get fit day at school, and the other equally exciting things going on around here.

Yeah…

It was about this time last year that the Roc started to answer yes/no questions and I’ve noticed something in the last week that (for now) makes me giggle a little.  He started saying “yeah” instead of “yes” when I ask him questions.  I’ll have to examine my own language and see if he picked this up from me (probably), or from school, or from someone else.  I know it’s not proper grammar and it’s slang and all.

But when he says it, it just sounds so typical…